A Guide to Being a Compassionate Partner During Life’s Most Challenging Journey
Jump to: Understanding – Why your support matters – What is needed from you – Understanding the broader context – What partnership looks like
When the woman in your life is going through menopause, you might feel unsure about how to help. Perhaps you’ve noticed changes, mood swings, fatigue, withdrawal and you’re wondering what’s happening and how you can be supportive. The truth is, your understanding and support can make an enormous difference. Read more to find out how you become the partner she needs during one of life’s most challenging transitions.
Understanding What She’s Going Through
The Reality of Menopause
Menopause isn’t just about hot flushes. Over 13 million women in the UK are experiencing perimenopause or menopause, facing a multiple symptoms that can be truly debilitating. Understanding the full scope of what she’s experiencing is the first step toward meaningful support.
Physical Symptoms May Include (there’s at least 34 of them)
- Hot flushes and night sweats that disrupt sleep
- Persistent fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest
- Joint and muscle pain
- Vaginal dryness and reduced libido
- Changes in weight or body shape
- Recurrent urinary tract infections
Cognitive and Emotional Challenges:
- “Brain fog”, difficulty concentrating or remembering things
- Anxiety and mood swings
- Irritability that seems to come from nowhere
- Low mood or depression
- Lowered self-esteem and confidence
The Impact on Daily Life: Research shows that these symptoms significantly disrupt:
- Home life for 50% of women
- Sex life for 50% of women
- Work performance for 63-68% of women
Alarmingly, 1 in 10 women leave their jobs due to menopause symptoms, with nearly 900,000 women in the UK having left work because of inadequate support.
Why Your Support Matters More Than You Think
The Information Gap
Here’s something that might surprise you: 90% of women were never educated about menopause at school. Nearly half don’t feel informed about what’s happening to their bodies. When experiencing symptoms, 50% of women don’t consult a medical professional, instead turning to media, friends, family, or the internet for answers.
This means she’s likely navigating this journey with incomplete information, feeling isolated, and possibly doubting her own experiences. Your willingness to learn alongside her can help bridge this gap.
The Stigma and Silence
Menopause remains a taboo topic in many settings. 90% of employers offer no formal support, and women often feel they can’t discuss their symptoms at work or even with friends and family. This silence compounds the challenge, making women feel invisible or dismissed during a critical life stage.
What She Really Needs From You
1. Empathy and Non-Judgment
The most powerful thing you can offer is your compassionate presence. Her symptoms are real, even when they’re invisible to you. Mood swings, irritability, or withdrawal aren’t personal attacks, they’re profound hormonal and physical changes.
Practice saying:
- “I can see this is really difficult for you.”
- “What can I do to help right now?”
- “Your feelings are valid, and I’m here for you.”
Avoid saying:
- “Are you sure it’s not just stress?”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “Everyone goes through this.”
2. Open Communication
Create a safe space where she can talk about everything she’s experiencing. This includes sensitive topics like changes in sexual desire, body image concerns, or feelings of inadequacy.
How to encourage communication:
- Ask open-ended questions: “How are you feeling today?”
- Listen without immediately trying to fix things
- Check in regularly, but don’t overwhelm her
- Respect if she needs space sometimes
3. Active Partnership in Seeking Information
Don’t leave her to figure this out alone. Take initiative in learning about menopause and the support options available.
Practical steps:
- Research together about symptoms and treatments
- Help her find quality resources and healthcare providers
- Learn about both hormonal and non-hormonal treatment options
- Understand that what works varies greatly between individuals
4. Flexibility and Practical Adjustments
Be willing to adapt your shared routines to accommodate her changing needs.
Consider:
- Sleep arrangements: If night sweats are disrupting both your sleep, separate bedding or even temporary separate sleeping spaces might help
- Temperature control: She’s not being difficult about the thermostat—hot flushes are genuinely overwhelming
- Social plans: Energy levels may fluctuate dramatically; be flexible about canceling or adjusting plans
- Intimacy: Be patient and creative; physical intimacy may need to look different for a while
5. Encourage and Support Healthy Lifestyle Changes
Evidence-based strength training, proper nutrition, and stress management can significantly help manage menopausal symptoms. But she shouldn’t have to do it alone.
Be a partner in wellness:
- Exercise together, strength training is particularly beneficial during menopause
- Support healthy eating by cooking nutritious meals together
- Encourage stress-reduction activities like walking, yoga, or meditation
- Celebrate small victories and progress
6. Validate Her Experience
Perhaps the most important thing you can do is believe her. Symptoms can be unpredictable and vary day to day. What was manageable yesterday might be overwhelming today.
Remember:
- Her experience is unique, don’t compare her to other women
- Invisible symptoms (brain fog, anxiety, fatigue) are just as real as visible ones
- She’s not “being dramatic”, these changes are medically documented and significant
7. Advocate for Professional Support
Encourage her to seek comprehensive support that addresses her holistic needs, physical, mental, and emotional.
Support options to explore together:
- Medical professionals knowledgeable about menopause
- Professional coaching services that provide personalized strategies for managing symptoms and maintaining quality of life
- Peer support groups where she can connect with other women
- Evidence-based digital programs that combine strength training, wellness coaching, and education
Charities like Vitality Journey offer integrated, accessible support that combines physical strength programmes with professional well-being coaching. This addresses the overwhelming and disjointed nature of most menopause support through a holistic approach.
Understanding the Broader Context
It’s Not Just About Hormones
Menopause often coincides with other major life transitions:
- Children leaving home
- Career changes or increased workplace pressure
- Caring for aging parents
- Shifting social roles and identity
The cumulative effect of these changes can be profound. What she’s experiencing is layered and complex, not just a biological process but a complete life transition that deserves understanding and support.
Work-Life Integration Challenges
Modern life already creates significant stress, particularly for women balancing career demands with family responsibilities. Menopause symptoms compound this strain, potentially affecting career progression, job security, and financial stability.
Your support in helping her maintain work-life integration, whether that means taking on more household responsibilities, being flexible about her work schedule, or simply acknowledging the difficulty of what she’s managing, can be so transformative.
What True Partnership Looks Like
Being a supportive partner during menopause doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers. It means:
✓ Being willing to learn alongside her ✓ Showing up consistently with empathy and patience ✓ Taking initiative in helping her access support and resources ✓ Adjusting your expectations and shared routines as needed ✓ Celebrating her resilience through a challenging transition ✓ Maintaining connection even when things are difficult
The Bottom Line
Menopause is not something women should have to navigate alone. Your understanding, support, and partnership can significantly impact her experience, well-being, and quality of life during this time.
The women experiencing menopause today, all 13 million of them in the UK deserve better than silence, stigma, and struggling alone. They deserve partners who are informed, compassionate, and actively engaged in supporting their journey.
Your role isn’t to fix everything, it’s to walk beside her with understanding, empathy, and unwavering support.
Resources and Next Steps
If you’re looking for comprehensive, evidence-based support for the woman in your life:
- Vitality Journey offers accessible, holistic programmes combining strength training, professional coaching, and educational resources specifically designed for women navigating menopause and life transitions
- Explore digital FemTech solutions that provide personalized, AI-driven support and just-in-time guidance
- Connect with coaching services that address both physical symptoms and mental/emotional wellbeing
- Seek out peer support communities where she can connect with other women having similar experiences
Remember: The most important resource you can offer is yourself, informed, present, and compassionate.
